I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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