Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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