who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
