I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize