don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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