How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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