I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
