Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
