actually, I'm a sock model
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
