I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
