You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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