Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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