Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
