Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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