we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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