There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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