Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
my being single is dangerous.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize