he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
