dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
