Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize