dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
