The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
