i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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