I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They took my balls.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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