If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
