kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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