so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
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That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
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Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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