Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
