It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize