and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
