i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
