now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
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I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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