eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Randomize
