I accidentally had phone sex last night
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
