I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
