Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Randomize