New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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