Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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