these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize