just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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