So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
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