he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
