she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
