so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
