Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
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I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize