stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
