I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
