Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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