Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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