Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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