so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
