its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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