So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
