it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
