I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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