This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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