Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize