I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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