I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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