Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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