p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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