is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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